How can it be the end of the year again? So soon? I still feel like we have only just got here. Only just come through the door of 2015 and our house for the first time and are settling in. Still. Things to unpack. Items to move to their actual cupboard instead of the ridiculous spinning one they were shoved into back in January. I tell you what, internally moving storage spaces can do one.
It's funny how we always have to see all the seasons before we feel at home somewhere. Well, that is the case for me anywho. And, finally, I am starting to feel like this is ours. Unlike last year, we got to have a proper big ol' Yuletide.
Last year, amongst the boxes of our worldly possession, we had a very pared down day of just the 2 of us, a nice walk and some holly collection for our simple festive table. I made a tea-light holder out of a very carefully peeled clementine, which promptly burnt round the edges and made the flat smell like marmalade on singed toast. It was all very nice, but it all felt less somehow.
But - all of these things are long gone. The flat is no longer ours. And, until the last week or so, I felt like I was still living in someone else's house. It was an odd sensation to decorate for the season. It all seemed so big and all our decorations so small. And, I didn't know where any thing went.
Greeting a string of something or other, I knew where to put it. Strewn over the mirror above the fireplace. Except, we no longer have that mirror. Nor that fireplace. It's a silly thing to be overwhelmed by - there are many, many more significant things going on all over the place - but, it really got to me. For a split second, I wanted to go back, where everything was familiar. You know? It felt like that simple (but impossible and, actually, unwanted) act would make it all easier. It was only a split second, but still.
However, slowly, as we started to find new homes for old friends, I could feel a shift. A change that I have long been waiting for. An actual shoot taking root and anchoring me to this place. In the making of new memories, I felt more at home. The organising for Yule and the welcome introduction of fairy lights to the gloomy December days. The smell of sweet spices and oils in the burners. The tip-toeing of Winter on the horizon - although it is still too mild for my liking and I wish it would get a wriggle on.
Instead of waking up, wondering momentarily where I am, I feel more comfortable now, nestled within these bricks and mortar, than I have since we moved in. And, all for the turning of the globe as one more year rolls by.
Wishing only awesome things to all of you as we head on in to 2016.
It's gunna be a goodun'!