Thursday, 12 January 2012

The Tale of a Home Hair Cut


Picture the scene. Me - staring forlornly at my hair, wishing I had asked my Nan to cut it when I saw her over Eatmass. 

I am bored of how fluffy it gets, how the ends are so much darker than the rest due to over-dying (again) and generally wanting a second bash at The Chop.

Get a cuppa. This post is a long-un. Unlike my locks...

Make-up less me. Lordy.

Cut (pun intended) to me having the brainwave of asking The Beard to "just cut an inch or so off the bottom -  it'll take 5 mins". Off of my clean, but crucially, for this tale, dry hair. I am standing in the bath, in my PJ's, a bit hot & sweaty from cleaning. I thought this the best place for the operation to be performed, because then the small amounts of hair can be swept up & binned. This will only take 5 mins, right? 

The Beard is renowned for being able to cut straight lines free-hand. The edges of our left over wrapping paper could be used as a ruler. It started off well. Snip.. snip..snip, whilst I stared at the grouting on the bathroom tiles. I could feel that he was about finished. That was 5 mins I thought. And then. Well then - The Beard bolted. 

We had been having a conversation about using my needlework scissors to "neaten it up", as opposed to the kitchen ones we had been using 
(somewhere out there I can hear my Nan & Aunt fainting).

But -  he failed to return. I thought I could hear him hyperventilating. I turned and caught sight of my hair in the mirror. I let out an involuntary screech. Followed by sobbing, rocking and whimpering. 

The left hand side was perfect. The right hand side, at the back, was above my shoulder. The Beard was shakily rolling a comfort smoke and repeatedly muttering:

"..what have I done? I have ruined your hair! What have I done? I have ruined your life! What have I done..."

I think my beloved flying into pale shock made me switch into practical mode. I had to cut the rest to a presentable length. Which made me feel a little sick. After I had ceased swearing, I looked at things rationally. I was unwashed, make-up free and standing in stale sleepwear.  And my hair was straight. So, I fired up the steam rollers, plonked them in, had a shower, applied slap and a frock and took them out. Curls really do hide a multitude of sins. It looked retro passable. I was relieved.

But.. how would it look with a proper, overnight set....

Bogs at the office. Oh the glamour!

The very same evening, before returning to the grind with hair that was as much a shock to me as anyone else, I set it with sponge rollers. I have not used these bad boys for a good long while, favouring perming rods. But due to the lack of hair I am used to, I just could not get it to go round the rod. So, I reverted back. 

I leave my rods in, stuffed up under a hat, during the winter months whilst I commute. I did the same with the rollers. I could not wait to see what I had to play with. The above shot is pre-8am, just after a quick brush out. I have to say, I was chuffed.

But, I was most worried about those short back bits. Would they have curled? Would they be sticking straight out? The only thing for it, was to do a timer picture of the back of my own head....

Oh! My! Giddy! Aunt!!! I was ecstatic! I think I actually clapped. It may not look like much to some, but the back of my barnet is something I have always struggled with. I had some lovely comments from colleagues. Little did they know the anguished history behind it all. The Beard was still apologising to me as I left for work.

But, how would it hold? My hair is thick, and it does drop. So, out came the camera when I returned home. 
(You will note I have a penchant for taking hair photos in the bathroom.)

I am more than pleased with how it now holds a curl. All day.


Needless to say, I shall never ask such an ask of The Beard ever again. In fact -  he has threatened to leave me if I even think about uttering  "..Could you do me a favour.. could you cut my hair? It'll will only take a moment..

So. I shant.

It had settled into nice waves during the day. Hurrahs! 

It could have been soooooo much worse than it is. But, it is now manageable. It holds a style all day. It takes moments to wash.

So, The Beard, I salute you.

But, what do you think, dears? Am I papering over the cracks? Or does it look alright?

(*holds breath.... looks out occasionally from behind the cat*)


  1. Oh lordy! Let me start by saying that it truly looks great and as a die-hard long hair person, I feel your pain at the loss but I have spent ages now secretly suspecting that doing my hair vintage-style (which I cannot do at all) would be much easier were it shorter. Haven't got the guts to cut it though. As such, maybe this is a good thing, this errm hacking session, as it does look super in the photos. Still, you must make the most of this and make The Beard eat humble pie for a verrrry long while!
    Hen x

  2. Oh poor Beard, I can imagine the stress. But also, can I just say, this looks AMAZING! As in this is the best hair cut I've ever seen you with. I love it. Can I come round so the Beard can cut off just an inch off my hair too?

  3. Pat on the back for the Beard. I LOVE the length, just like Reece Witherspoon in Water for Elephants say I.
    Last night I was colouring mine, getting very hot and flustered, trying for a natural red headed 50's look...hummmmm think I'm there, it's shinier.....that's good isn't it???!
    Nattie x

  4. The Beard's done great, looks fab! He has my sympathies as someone that has, in the past, cut her daughter's fringe down to almost nothing, clippered a major chunk out her brother's hair and done numerous terrible things to my own hair. Very stylish! x

  5. Looks great charlie! I feel the pain of the long to short, theres something so comforting about long hair. But I'm a real fan of short, so elegant and chic. Great for 30's and Jenny does an excellent 50s bob. Super cute. Hats off to the beard!

  6. Oooh, new hair looks great!

    I've toyed with asking hubs to "just cut an inch or so off", or even doing it myself (one FB friend recoiled in horror, I think maybe she'd had experience??) but maybe I should learn from your exploits??

    Mind you, I have been struggling with keeping in curls round the back so maybe I DO need the chop?!

  7. Argh it must have been a bit tense in your household that evening! BUT it looks absolutely gorgeous, really lovely. And like you say at least you can do more with it now. Good end to a bad hair story! x

  8. Let me start with I think your hair looks adorable...My husband who is a barber has only touched my hair twice in a professional capacity (and it was only in an emergency I burned part of my hair off type of thing) in our relationship and thinks it is wise if we don't go there.... Probably for this exact reason. But I feel your pain as I always hate it when mine is above the shoulders too, even if it is cute.

  9. I know the feeling of ruining your loved one's do, I left a postage stamp sized square of baldness on the back of my boyfriend's head when wielding clippers. You look fabulous, those curls are fantastic! Actually I think the straight looked rather good too xxx

  10. It looks lovely. If only I could get my hair that LONG. Oh, to be able to put rollers in my 3 inch long hair!! M x

  11. I agree with the above I think it's lovely. But you mad insane woman! Never, never cut dry hair!!

  12. It looks absolutely lovely. This is actually inspiring me: my hair is now down to the middle of my back, and I know it would be easier to do things with if it were shorter.

  13. I feel your pain! Been there done that and had the uneven fringe (about an inch out each side) and distraught boyfriend to prove it!

    But wow, yours is Certainly a victory from the jaws of defeat! Have no fear it looks utterly gorgeous, and really suits you! Also the way it curves and curls at the back is beautiful! x

  14. It looks fabulous dahling! I'm in dire need of a haircut myself - my hair gets so heavy when it's long.

    xx Charlotte
    Tuppence Ha'penny

  15. It looks fabulous Charly! I have major MAJOR hair envy.

  16. AH it looks great!
    As for home hair cutting...the trick is just to cut miniscule, miniscule amounts at a time repeatedly until everything is even. I cut my own hair that way (using two mirrors to see the back) and it is almost always presentable even dead straight (which it is naturally). Unless it is going to stress you out even more I might recommend trying to even up the back a bit in that manner (on your not afflict your poor guy if he is already heart palpitating!)...not totally even as I imagine everything else being longer is part of what is saving the short chunk...
    POINT BEING THOUGH: you're really cute with that hair.

  17. I love it! A fabulous mistake I think. I have to say the only way my very thick heavy hair holds a set well is when it's shorter, of course that's a problem if you prefer long hair but I like mine shorter, it's soooo much more manageable!

  18. It looks really, really lovely!

  19. It looks tops! Well done the Beard. His Lordship laughs at me for cutting my own hair 'like the funny kid at the back of the class'. Harrumph. I wouldn't ask him to cut mine...he can't walk down the Charing Cross Road straight so what hope has he got with scissors and a razor comb for layering.

  20. looks really great, very professional, shorter hair really helps it stop curl dropping too.x

  21. HA you must be so relieved this mistake turned out to be a good one! I'm more of a long hair lover I must admit, but it really suits you and at least it wont take as long to set ;)


  22. It looks FAB curled! I love it!

    I've never been brave enough to do anything other than trim a fringe at home. Mine hasn't been cut since May and it's driving me insane!

  23. TRIPLE WHOOT!! Thanks ladies!! So relieved!

    Lenora Jane: The shortest bit is actually ends up under the rest of my hair - so can't be seen all the time. But thanks for the invaluable tips!!

  24. Your haircut looks amazing! I been wanting to chop mine off ,but not too short. cause I will lose my powers. :)

  25. Charly- you gotta teach my to set curls like you do! i've even got those same foamrollers dammit and i want THOSE waves! xx

  26. Poor you and poor Beard! It's one thing to go to the hairdressers having decided to cut your hair but another to have it sprung on you (both) like a bad surprise. Still, I think it looks FABULOUS and so you do! Plus, bonus, it takes less time to look amazing. Win!

  27. ~ * ♥ * ~

    I think your hair looks fab and I only wish mine would curl so nicely! Unfortunately, natural curls seem to have doomed my chances of ever achieving a nice, 1940s set. : ( Still, I shall appease my soul by gloating over your lovely hair! : )

    bonita of Depict This!
    ~ * ♥ * ~

  28. It looks great! The back has curled really nicely.

  29. Your hair is SPECTACULAR! I am getting closer to doing this MYSELF. Hope mine looks half as lovely as yours. Sarah xxx

  30. Well thank goodness you didn't ask him to cut it today - that WOULD have been tempting fate. But hurrah, it actually looks gorgeous! How lucky is that?

  31. No worries it is so cute!! You can do some really cute up do pin curls too. Good job Beard:)

  32. I'd rather go wild 'n' woolly than have my hubby touch my hair, which is why it's about three feet long at the moment.

    The new short set is lovely on you and I think it makes you look like Vanessa Marano!

  33. It looks fab - and you have inspired me - I haven't had mine cut since Feb 2010, and I am not spending money this year (trying to spend like I would in 1942). I do the kids hair, but not hubbies, and I don't think I'll ask him. Do it myself? Ask my teenager? May I be so brave?!

  34. Well, you certainly know to tell the story with suspense! Hope you'll have good laughs about it when ye're old... And noone can take the ability to adapt a situation into something positive away from you. You look good!

  35. Christine Francke15 January 2012 at 21:01

    I love your hair, it looks very vintage, really nice!!

  36. It must have been one of those awful pained silences at first. Turned out well though, it looks just dandy, better than I did after coming out of a proper hairdressers a few weeks ago.
    I have a horror of hairdressers after too many diasters when young, they never listen. Went to have the ends sorted a few weeks ago, came out wanting to shoot myself, she seemed to have ironed it flat...I have a was hideous, I was furious, never, ever again, proved my point to myself! Fortunately when washed it looked normal again.

  37. Love it!! (though I liked it longer too). Well done Beard.

  38. It looks brilliant!! You brave thing!

  39. It looks amazing! I love how even those waves are too. Good work, Beard! And good setting work! :D


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