In amongst all the many tons of old-lady toot at LandGirl Heights, there live 2 cats.
They can be hard to spot behind the piles of books and/or washing (I am such a slattern), so it is just as well they spend most of their time sleeping on our bed.
Usually on a discarded paper bag.
Wanna meet 'em?
This is Charlie Girl. Not that she actually ever gets called that.
She is known as Woo. Or Mrs Woo. Or Woozle-Bub.
She is a very sweet natured cat, until she does this....
She came to me via a friend and has proudly been carried round on my shoulder, like a infant that needs winding, for the last 8 years. She is convinced that she is, in fact, a human and displays this by sleeping, at face height, betwixt The Beard and I on a nightly basis.
When it's cold she wraps her spotty tummy round my head, which often wakes me in a dry mouthed sweat. She just mews and stretches out, radiating in my bonce heat.
The next pushka in my collection is Memphis.
Or Memmy-Puss, Moof, Mr Memphas, Fluffy-Pants or Moofa-Choops.
He is a very pretty boy and he has been part of my life (and his fur in part of every meal I eat and everything I wear) for 7 years.
I rescued him as a kitten and he is the most lovable, yet scatty-skitty kitty I have ever met. He flaps & fusses if The Beard walks into the kitchen when he is eating, looks at him like he has never seen him in any one of his 9 lives and bolts. He then pads about on The Beards jumper as though he is his best friend. Freak.
As for me - he is a spoilt monster-puss and will only let me hold him about like a baby. This is my own fault, because I used to carry him everywhere in the crook of my arm when he was a poorly, freshly rescued kitten. He is a hefty adult now. Fat Moofter.
But. There is a new, temporary feline chowing down on the Go Cat this Yuletide....
We are looking after Miss Elsa of Penny Dreadful Vintage fame.
PDV has jetted off for the warmer family filled climes of Oz for Christmas and we offered to scoop the poop, scratch the tummy of and furnish this beautiful moggy with an abundance of string whilst she is away. It was either that or a cattery - which would probably have cost more than her flight.
Not that she is actually called Elsa whilst she is with us. Her nick names thus far are:
Elsa-Pelsa, Miss E Hiss, Pelsa-Pops, Pops, Mrs Mewson and Christmas Cat.
There have been tense moments. I shan't lie. The Woo initially bounded up to her, as though she were a reflection, and then hissed. She hasen't stopped as yet. But. She will now share a room with her. Whilst hissing.
The Moof wants only to be her friend (and eat her leftovers) but Elsa has shooed him and his fluffy-pants away.
She is a stunning mog and we have considered moving and breaking all contact with her loving owners just so we can keep her. She is nudgy, drooly and purrrrsome. With talons of massivness. She loves to nom our streamers and is super quick when it comes to chasing twine. I have nearly lost a toe on more than one occasion.
Alas, she is not ours and our good deed shall be done and dusted by the beginning of 2012. So. I shall have to get in ooober extra hugs with Pelsa-Pops.
And here endeth the Cat Tour
Meeow-ver & Out!